Monthly Archives: May 2012

Do without

tackorama.net

Having no money sucks. How many things can you do without it? Really. Go for a walk? That’s about it and you need clothes and shoes to do it and maybe some water and your keys, phone, whatever.

As part of the path of being thankful for what I have, I became aware of the things I haven’t. Like eucalyptus oil. And tea lights. Caribbean holiday, haven’t had one of those for a while let alone a vacation home. Where are the timeshares? The millions of dollars I think the cosmos owes me?

So I just pretend. I like looking over the luxurious real estate ads and deciding which ones I want to view. I have all kids of fantasies about moving in or rather having my people do it. I’ll need a housekeeper, hopefully she’s a chef, like, gourmet. Then I would need a lawyer and financial advisor to watch my money and make it more money and then I would need someone to watch over them because well, you know.

By this time, I am tired of all these people and just want some peace and quiet so I’m thankful I don’t want to see any of those luxurious properties because if I did, well, it would take so much effort. And that’s what it’s all about, isn’t it? The effort. If you want something, anything, you have to put in the effort. There are few, if any, overnight success stories. Anything worth accomplishing takes a concentrated, continuous effort. That’s just the way it is.

So for now, I will be thankful for the things I do have. A place to sleep, food to eat and people who love me. That’s all you really need. Everything else is gravy.

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The bird’s nest

Courtesy tackorama.netSpring is in the air. Nature awakes. Birds chase one another in a never-ending cycle of life.

Bits of sticks, pieces of hay, some dirt and water. A bird’s nest. A home, underneath my deck. Sheltered, protected from predators and the elements. The Robin lays her eggs. The father perches close by. He yells at me in the evenings when I sit outside, a big threat. That’s okay, I get it.

Soon enough, the eggs have hatched. There are four baby birds and they are hungry. I read that newborn birds have to be fed every 15 – 20 minutes from sunrise to sunset and I can believe it. It seemed like they were always crying. I would watch the mother and father fly back and forth from nest to field and back again. In the space between the boards, I could see them feeding the hatchlings throughout the day.

And so it went until one day when there was no more chirping. I peeked through the crack and sure enough, the nest was empty. They were gone. Just like life. Sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn’t. That’s just the way it is. I guess the trick is to enjoy it while it’s happening so you can remember when it isn’t.


Flag girl person whatever

I wasn’t going to say anything. Really I wasn’t. But I couldn’t take it anymore. It goes like this.

Where I live, it’s lush. And when spring comes around, things start to grow. My brother once said, “The problem around here is that things grow too well.” And he’s right. So, the municipality has to cut back the growth on city property. Which is all well and good and also an inconvenience.

There is a road that runs mostly parallel along the coast. For a good part of this road, there is rock and vegetation on one side and ocean or residences on the other. It’s one lane each way with barely enough room to pass a cyclist on a clear stretch. And because the road twists and turns so often, you can follow a cyclist for blocks at 15 kph. But this story isn’t about cyclists. I use this road regularly.

Fluorescent signs. Slow down. Flag person. I’m always curious since the sign is neutral. Usually it’s a flag girl with attitude. I mean, I don’t know what they teach them in flag school but they just throw up their hand in your face windshield. So agressive. I think it might be the sign or whatever. And the way they stand. I guess you have to be that way when you’re dealing with cars and trucks, all dressed up in a fluorescent suit on a hot day.

Anyway. You wait. What else can you do? Nothing. One lane traffic either way. That’s cool. The sunroof is open. It’s a beautiful day. Eventually, it’s your turn. There is always a moment of panic where they might throw up that sign in your face again but…it’s all good. And it’s okay if this happens once or maybe twice along the way. Fourth time, there is only so much anyone can take.

In the end, none of it will really matter. The lush growth or my irritation at being inconvenienced. The best approach is to just accept it and remind yourself that nothing lasts forever. That’s just the way it is.

Later that evening I was looking at myself in the mirror. You know, for a second. Why is one side of my face markedly more tanned than the other? Right. The sunroof. How does one even start to remedy the situation? Ugh.

No matter, next day, it wasn’t so bad. Noticeable to me but anyone else? Not so much. I’m not going to worry too much about looking like a harlequin. In the end, everything is okay. If everything is not okay, it’s not the end. Life goes on. And I’m okay with that.


Aliens among us

It’s not an unusual thought. Or original. But some people were talking the other day about it. Which reminds me of a friend who said Barack Obama is the first robot president. I thought that was funny – and weird. Anyway, these kids, probably 20 somethings, were talking about how aliens live among us and run the government and big corporations. And I thought, hmm, it’s possible.

I mean, I think I’m pretty smart but there are some things I just don’t get. Like cell phones. How are they possible? Pretty sure aliens had something to do with that. And microwaves. Fire I can understand because it’s hot, but. Press the button and one minute later, presto? It’s like magic, only real.

Looking back I think I’ve always been in a state of awe and wonder at the world. I just thought I was confused. If you stop to think about it, it’s all pretty unreal. I mean, how can a seed contain all the knowledge it needs to grow into something wonderful? Life is miraculous. It’s just so hard to see sometimes because everything else takes your time and attention. It’s true! It’s happened to me.

I don’t really want to think that aliens walk among us. If they do, they’re doing a pretty good job of disguising themselves. Although, when I look at some people…whatever.

Maybe I’m an alien and that’s why I feel like I don’t fit in anywhere and everyone is a stranger. Did you ever think about that? Huh? Just kidding. I think probably everyone feels, at one time or another, that they don’t belong. It could be part of the process of finding out where you do belong. It’s part of the human condition. We’re all aliens.


Words

I’ve been thinking about words a lot lately. Particularly words that have similar sounds but entirely different meanings or words that sound and are spelled the same but mean something different. Words communicate and if one doesn’t have the right words, it’s hard to get the point across. It all started when one of my friends was recalling a recent trip to the emergency.

“And you know what it’s like in emergency, they are all idiots,” she said. Well, now, they are not all idiots but I can certainly understand her frustration. It’s hard to know what anyone is going through by looking at them. As she went on, I started to think about the word emergency and that the word emerge was in the word emergency. Then I thought the word emerge sounded nice and pleasant, like a butterfly emerging from the cocoon. It made me feel like I’d arrived. Emerge. But then the word emergency didn’t make me feel that way at all. Then I wondered, who is in charge of words anyway?

“Are you listening to me?” she says. Uh huh. I lied.

It was probably later the next day when I was thinking about the conversation and I thought of the word hospital and that it is part of the word hospitality. I love hospitality! I mean, whether I’m guest or host, there is nothing like good hospitality. So what was the person in charge of words thinking when they named a hospitalhospital? What were they thinking? I should have their job.

A little while later, same friend starts talking about how one time she was explaining an event to a group of people and said ejaculation instead of explosion. In the uncomfortable silence, she realized her mistake. Once words are spoken, you cannot bring them back. I thought Freudian slip but whatever, apparently, they were not impressed. Bad visual. I think those people had a skewed perception of her for like, forever. It’s a good thing I like her so much.

Then today, I was at the gym and as I was leaving, some teenagers were pointing to sign that said, Please refrain from… and they were saying refrain, refrain, please refrain. So I started to think about the word. Refrain means to hold oneself back and also is a line or lines that is repeated in a verse or song. It’s like a conspiracy. I love singing!

Then I went into overdrive. Think about you, ewe, and a u-turn. And then what about I, eye, and aye-aye and aye yai yai? The number two, to, too, and t00-too, the ballerina dress.

I decided I should probably just relax and not worry about words so much. It’s beyond my control. I’m only responsible for my behaviour, a liberating thought. Everybody can just do whatever they want, I’m not responsible for their behaviour. I am only responsible for me. Ah. Relief, somehow. I think I’ll have a bath.